Goodbye
by Bluestarisawesome
Summary: Julia is alone in the dark drinking. So is Mary Jo. Both for the same reason: To keep their minds off each other. (Craptastical summary, I know.) Rating changed to M.
1. Chapter 1

Julia was alone by choice tonight. It had been weeks since Reese's passing, and she vowed to shut everyone out of her life from this point forward. If she no longer cared about anyone, she could never be hurt again. Tonight she was savoring her second glass of whiskey, in total darkness and praying Mary Jo or Charlene wouldn't show up at her door again. They come trying to drag her out of her house to some dimly lit restaurant, or make her sit through a movie. Neither of the women brought up the question that had been plaguing both of their minds: When could they come back to work?

The living room was illuminated by headlights, and Julia heard a car door slam. Someone ran up the steps, and started to knock on the door.

"Julia! I know you're in there."

The voice belonged to Mary Jo.

Just stay perfectly still. The lights are off. She'll probably think you've gone to bed already.

"Julia, c'mon. It's only nine thirty. I know you're awake," Mary Jo reasoned. "JULIA!"

Sighing, Julia gets off the sofa and tiptoes to the door.

"Julia, please," Mary Jo begs.

Julia unlocks the door, and Mary Jo runs inside the dark empty house.

"My God, you worried us all to death!"

"Hmm" was Julia's only response.

"My word, it's so dark I can't see my hand in front of my face. Can I turn on a light?"

"I don't want you in here," Julia said coldly.

"Well Julia, I'm here for you. I just want you to know that." Oh yes, I know. You've been here a lot lately, she thought.

"Mary Jo. The only reason I let you in tonight is because I got the feeling you thought I was lying on the floor dead." She almost added, 'and damn do I wish I was' but she decided against it. "I figured if you knew I was alive, you would finally leave me alone. That's what I want. To be left alone."

"You've been alone for weeks," Mary Jo points out.

"Maybe I need to be alone for the rest of my life. I don't know. If you would go, I could figure that out."

"Fine. I'll let you do whatever you need to. I'm done trying to help you, since you say you don't need it. Goodbye Julia," Mary Jo murmured as she opened the door.

"You mean goodnight," Julia smirks. She'll be back.

"No, I think I mean goodbye." Mary Jo let herself out the door, and Julia closed it behind her. She watched the red head run down the steps outside and get back into her car. When she drove away, Julia retreated to the sofa and poured herself more whiskey.

Her best friend has given up on her. And maybe Julia did care about her.


	2. Chapter 2

It was apparent that Mary Jo rarely opened the liquor cabinet in her home, since its only contents were a half empty bottle of vodka. She needed something to take her mind off Julia, and her usual glass of red wine wouldn't do it. She wanted nothing more than her boss to be content. She knew Julia would probably never love again. After all, she has lost the only two men she has ever slept with. That is what hurt Mary Jo the most. She could love Julia, but the woman simply wouldn't let her. Mary Jo poured a splash of vodka into a glass and topped it off with coke. She pressed her lips to the glass and took the first step to quiet her thoughts.

Julia was well into her third glass of Jack Daniel's before she finally came to terms with the fact that she was drunk. The very thoughts she was trying to suppress slowly ban to rise to the surface: Why had she been so cold to Mary Jo? The younger woman was probably the only person that cared for Julia, quite possibly for than she would ever know.  
"What's the worst that could happen? I fall for that woman. We spend the night together, and then what? Tell people? Ha," Julia mutters. "Then when I least expect it, when I'm certain I'm finally happy, she's taken from me." Julia takes another swig of the smooth liquor and shakes her head. "I'm not letting that happen again."

The hour was getting late, and Mary Jo has definitely had her fill of vodka and coke. Drinking did quiet her thoughts, but only heightened her desires. How many times has Charlene or Suzanne raised an eyebrow when she stared at her boss one second too long? Mary Jo considers her options: carry this secret to the grave, or call Julia, and make her declaration of love while trying not to slur it too much. The latter appealed to Mary Jo. What's the very worst that could happen? She has felt awkward around Julia for years.

"She'll let me down easy. She's always been that kind of person."

Julia was making her way upstairs when the phone rings. She decided to ignore it and let the machine take it.

"Julia? I gotta *hiccup* I gotta tell you something." It was once again, Mary Jo's voice filling her house. "You there?"

Julia sighed and continued to climb the stairs.

"Okay, I guess I'll just say it. I love you, Julia. And I've loved you for a long time. Goodnight."


	3. Chapter 3

Mary Jo was sprawled out on the living room sofa when she opened her eyes the next morning. The sun's light was breaking through the curtains, and she assumed it was about nine thirty. The young woman rose off the furniture as slowly as she could manage, and made her way into the kitchen in search of something to take the edge off her hangover. The freezer had only seven ice cubes. The minute Mary Jo held the ice cubes in her hand, last night's events slowly started to resurface.

Leaving Julia's house. Vodka. The phone call.

"Oh fuck," She choked out. "Oh my- oh dear God." Mary Jo dropped the ice and the cubes slid in all directions across the kitchen floor.

Julia probably managed to get one or two hours of sleep. For the first night since Reese died, she didn't dream of him. She wasn't sure whether to be comforted by that, or saddened. She mostly thought about Mary Jo's drunken confession. Julia felt guilty that Mary Jo had gotten herself that drunk last night over her. Julia wished Mary Jo actually meant what she said, because that would cause her less pain.

Mary Jo was pacing the floors trying to decide what she should do. Would she go over to Julia's today to apologize for what she said, and pretend that she doesn't remember calling later? Or should she confront her friend and tell her that even though she was intoxicated at the time, she meant everything she said? Both things could damage their friendship, and being friends with the woman she has wanted for years is better than nothing at all right?

"Oh hell. What could taking one last risk do at this point?" Mary Jo reasoned.

Mary Jo gripped the steering wheel of her car tighter as she pulled onto Julia's street and the magnificent house came into view. The red head pulled into Julia's driveway, and tried to stop shaking before she reached the top of the steps and approached the front door. She took a ragged breath and raised her fist to knock on the door.

"Julia?"

The door was unlocked so quickly Mary Jo almost thought that Julia was sitting there all day waiting for her to show up.

"Mary Jo. Hello."

"About last night-"

"Oh, you haven't even got in the door yet. Come on and sit down first," Julia interrupted.

Mary Jo entered the house, and sat on the sofa. "Julia," she tried again as the older woman sat beside her. "About last night, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. But not for the reason you might think. I meant what I said, Julia. I have loved you for a very long time, and I've just been too afraid to say so. I mean, you and- you and Reese were so happy, and I was happy for you because-"

"Oh Mary Jo. I don't know what to say." Julia shook her head.

Mary Jo turned toward the woman she loved and looked into her dark eyes. "Julia, I just want you to be honest with me. Do you love me or not? I understand if you don't. I mean, if there's just not any room for me in your life right now, there's nothing I can do to change that. I wouldn't blame you. I-"

Julia silenced her in the only way she was certain would work; with a kiss. Mary Jo instinctively kissed her back just, (if not even more) passionately. Mary Jo let out a small moan just before they separate.

"Does that answer your question?" Julia murmured seductively.

Unable to speak, Mary Jo just nods.


End file.
